School starts in three days. This is the first time in over 5 years that I didn’t have a position to go to. I was accepted to sub in the local district but that isn’t the same and it will not be easy or very lucrative 😦 This uncertainty has me on edge.
Archive for the ‘work’ Category
June 3rd was the cut off date, the day of no return. I am officially done with my employer. It is scary and I still feel dejected some days but am working on stepping forward. I have had two calls about a possble job in the Topeka school district but we are still playing phone tag.
I am working on my summer of art project. It has mostly consisted of studying books, You Tube videos, a bit of sketching and contacting a lady in KC about some more lampworking lessons. I want to bring my skill lessons up another notch. By the end of summer vacation, I would like to be making glass buttons and some thimbles. To that end, I have ordered a thimble mandrel, some glass rods, a circle mold, fiber cloth, some kiln wash and a few other sundry items to use for that project.
In the sewing department, my goal is to make some denim tote shopping bags. I have the embroidery patterns and thread. I will buy the fabric for that soon. If that goes well, I have some lace patterns I want to try and hope to sew myself some clothes as well.
In the painting department, I have purchased some better watercolors and have some books checked out of the library. Mom and I plan on going to see someone she knows to take some lessons this summer. We also plan on going to the The Flying Pig to check it out.
Jim and I are going to a sock knitting convention later in the summer. I am taking a class to make lace socks and mittens. I already have enough yarn for that. 🙂
You see, I am trying to be positive and to move forward.
I finished the paperwork. I emptied my desk. I mailed out reports and turned in my keys. Now let’s see what the future has to hold.
This was the last full day with kids. One girl got the others to sign one of her pieces of art work. She gave me an orange as I often gave them oranges when I have extra ones. She gave me a frame to go with picture she had given me when she was in the 6th grade. I almost started crying, it is so painful.
The nurse said I had to go back to the dermatologist as the allergic reaction I have been having for the last few week seems to be spreading. I was just there Monday but agreed to go in tomorrow afternoon. It still seems hard to believe one could be allergic to the adhesive on a bandage.
I found out the job I had been offered in Onaga had been given the elementary teacher who lives near there. She has been traveling from just west of there all year. She just had a baby so this will be a good move for her. Interestingly, I have until June 3rd to accept that job. I am happy for her as I still think that is too far to drive but somehow that doesn’t seem like a good way to treat me.
I am not a shoe collector. My feet don’t tolerate much and I end up getting expensive shoes and wearing them until they are past their prime. I was watching Oprah the other day though when Sara Ferguson was on. The thing I took away from the interview was that I deserve better. I deserve to have new shoes when mine wear out. I deserve to have good food so I can be healthy. I deserve to be treated with respect for what I have done on my job. I may not do it perfectly but I try to do what I feel is in the best interest of my students. I am not a pawn to be used and then tossed away. The new district, 40 miles away, is probably a fine place to work but it means more wear and tear on me and my car and life is too short as it is.
I had several days when I was looking toward the new possibilities but by the end of the week I was crashing. I would go into the other room and find my colleagues planning out next year. One said I could stay but this was all set up without including me so I didn’t stay. It was just like at the beginning of the year when I wasn’t included because I was the new person. I have often wanted that feeling of community where I am part of things. It takes so long though and all the moves in my life doesn’t seem to allow that.
We are working on moving my mother-in-law from Nebraska to a couple of houses down from us. Jim was up there earlier in the week and we will have to go back soon to help her with packing. She is rather frail right now though. They were supposed to go to Montana to see his brother this last week but she wasn’t up to it. It will be good when this is settled so we can get her set up with doctors, regular meals, and such.
I woke up with a headache today. I got my treat ready to take in and decided just a few minutes rest would make things better. I woke up at five minutes to 12. So much for rug hooking.
I wanted to ask my boss a question about what needed to be done if I didn’t take the job so I called up Monday. I got an e-mail back saying that both the director and assistant director would come down Friday after work. Lovely! This week I felt more feisty though than despairing as I had the week before. It went ok but what a pain that was.
My mother-in-law called and said she is going to move into the apartments near us, probably in June. It will be a lot of work, I am sure, but hopefully we can help her have more regular meals and health care. She has sounded very low energy lately.
How is it that a job that has been extremely stressful at times is causing such devastation? I was at an all day meeting Friday and spent half the day feeling like crying. I talked an employee from the school they are thinking of moving me to and it confirmed my feelings that it would not be the thing to do and still I feel this way. I spent the day before holding the hands of my student so his nurse could give him pain medication as he was screaming and crying in my ear. What a mess. I wish I knew what I was going to be doing this fall instead of all this uncertainty. I guess it feeds into my feeling I will end up as a bag lady somewhere 😦 Probably not but it seems that way now.
It would help if I hadn’t had to move away from places, people and jobs in the past because of moves brought on by my husband’s job. I read about people working for a place for 10, 20 0r 30 years and that just hasn’t been what I have been able to do. I just start feeling comfortable and that opportunity is gone.
I was thinking I would get a chance to go rug hooking today but felt too exhausted to go. Just as well, as mid-afternoon, I remembered it is next Saturday. Anyway, I spent the day in the chair watching old movies.
So, I went to a job fair on Wednesday night. I got there a little early and there were already 20 people in the waiting room. Some looked desperate, some looked devastated. Some had come hundreds of miles in search of a career. I think I did all right on the interview but I am not sure that is enough or that this is the right spot for me. I will work on more applications this weekend. I am thankful for the prayers that people are sending my way.
I have made some progress with my sock machine. The cuff is nicely ribbed and I am half done with the heel. Unfortunately, there is a jam up and I am not sure what the problem is. I hope it is just more operator error.
Here is a short video from the crank in we went to in Cape Girardeau, Mo in April. Jim is ready to go to another one so he can play with machines 🙂
There are not a lot of jobs listed at schools right now but I did see a job fair listed for Wednesday evening. It would be closer, only 20 miles one way. I am not sure I have everything together for this. I worked on the application last night. I called the State Department to find out where they had put my new license. (Turns out they managed to find the forms after I called and it will be here in 4-8 weeks. Good thing I applied for it in February.) I went in and got my hair done tonight. I am going to try to exude strength and competency. I wish I felt that way.
I think I have my sock machine ready to start working. Hopefully I will be able to try making a pair this weekend. My floral rug is over 75% done now. Come summer time, I hope to make progress finishing these projects.
Tuesday my bosses came in and said I still had a job but they were moving it to Onaga. I was stunned. I have until June 4th to let them know. It is just over 40 miles from my house. I would get to add all the extra miles on top of my 2000 car with the 154,000 miles on and probably take me an hour both ways because of the roads. One less special ed teacher in the school district I am currently working in because of money.